I have learnt that forgiveness is not something you should be coerced into. its either you forgive or you don’t. But the thing that holds it all in place is the heart. You are aware when you have let go of something or even someone however you know you haven’t when the pain and anger resurfaces every time they are near; so with that said have we really forgiven when they are not around??
Forgiveness is not an easy journey and I heard someone say time and time again that forgiveness is setting a prisoner free only to realize that prisoner was you..
For Christians the understanding of forgiveness is that you wont gain forgiveness from God if you are unforgiving . Well I mean that seams fare under all circumstances but then I also realized that once someone asks for forgiveness you are obligated to accept but you have to fully accept the apology in order for you to really let go.. It doesn’t mean the pain will go away right at the moment. Especially for women who naturally nurture and harbor pain… Tears in times of pain or anger represent the emotions and heart ache we are holding on to. Its not something that can be comforted because it needs to be released. Most people don’t understand that; I cry not because I am hurt or weak I cry because I need to let go of everything that holds me back; sometimes it comes in the form of anger, most times tears. We all make mistakes some hurt more than others and we are sometimes a bit too hard on ourselves expecting too much from people. But the reality that I have come to understand is that the people you love hurt you the most; sometimes not intentionally but because of the depth of love you have for them you feel it more in comparison to other people… Ironically enough we find it harder to forgive them; why I don’t know but it should be easier to forgive those we “love” On this forgiveness journey I have realized that I am the one holding myself back…. I have become the very thing I dreaded but maybe its for the best… I am learning to truly let go; not just by words but my deeds and the total surrender from the heart…. Its time to start living and it starts with forgiveness..